Love is a knife. Now watch me twist it. [PRIVATE | Solo]

Sleep. Isn't it supposed to be a restless and peaceful moment that one can simply enjoy in a life full of turmoil? If that's so... why am I here?

Erika's eyes looked out at the broken landscape that was her inner-world, bodies and swords littered everywhere and in the distance the figure that stood in the scene of violence left. Her eyes never left the figure in the distance but a moment was all it took for her to blink and the larger woman was in front of her when her eyes came back open.

For a long moment a eerie silence was all that hung in the air between them and then it was on. As if marked by a gust of wind they both anticipated the two women had formed their swords and clashed. Slash after slash, they were both even in their strikes but the silence persisted until the woman backed away from Erika.

"Harm without Remorse, Juuchi Yosamu."

She was to close to escape yet to far away to counter, the release of the other woman's release was all it took to catch Erika off-guard and then impale her through the gut causing her to cry out and cough up blood. It hurt just like it always did.

"Juuchi Yo- samu... why?"

Leaving the sword buried in her gut she fell down into the rough dirt and moaned in pain while the sword twisted and moved but remained firmly in her stomach.

"Why? Why are you here? Well that's easy. You're asleep. I should be congratulating you though it seems you're slowly getting closer to Mushin. You're even getting into Jizen while you sleep as good as it does you."

With another splutter of blood she tried to pull the sword out of her stomach before her spirit leaned a little on it and twisted it.

"Isn't that a little rude? I figure if you're not going to have sex you might as well enjoy some penetration Erika. Don't we girls need to help each other out?"

Those words just infuriated her, why? Why did this woman hate her!? What did she ever do to Juuchi Yosamu for this level of hatred and abuse. She could never understand why. She did everything right, everything that someone who cared about their zanpakuto would do!

"That's not what I meant... When have you even helped me out anyway! What have you done aside from hurt me you bitch!"

The words only brought a sadistic smile from the scarred woman, one that enjoyed the smaller and weaker girl's lack of understanding. She felt the sword leave her stomach and sure enough the pain was refreshed with a stab a little lower, if Erika was pregnant the child would surely have been dead.

"Why would I help you? You're so pathetic. Even now... you can't stand alone, you fail to get stronger. You cling to your stupid beliefs of family and relying on others. You masochistic little shit, you hurt yourself, it's as simple as that. I don't know what you mean Erika when you say I don't help you. When your stupid excuse of a mother shows back up I help you, and then you throw it all back in my face when you forgive her and go back to how things were!? You're pathetic. You're weak. How do you even live with your pettiness!?"

It hurt so much, it only got worse when she felt the woman's foot slide in between her thighs and kick her to drag the blade further towards her crotch that was a new one. It brought tears to her eyes and a scream of agony.

"You're twisted! You care nothing for anyone! Why!? Not even me! Where were you when I needed you!? She was there for me more than you were, of course I'd choose her over you who has done nothing but bring misery."

"What comes around goes around Erika. You idiot, you really think you're her daughter? You're just something she has to toss away and pick back up whenever she wants. What ever made you think you meant anything to her? She discarded you at the first chance she got at a real family, you said it yourself. You're not her real daughter, or even her daughter for that matter. You're just her burden"

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT U-!"

Another kick was all it took for her to stop and go back to writhing in pain while the spirit continued her merciless assault.

"Think about it, how long did you know her for? A couple centuries? Then there was that guy, the cripple with one arm. Don't lie you hate him, you're selfish and possessive. She tossed you away for a cripple, he must've been well hung, I suppose he could bring her some sense of pleasure where you couldn't."

Unlike before Juuchi Yosamu was only met with silence and leaned down to stroke her face, wiping away some of the blood she coughed up that stuck around her lips. She was waiting for a response, just something that would be the wounded girl's retort but she couldn't.

"I... It's not like that... anymore. I don't think.. those things."

"Don't you Erika? Do you really think those two conversations with what's her face virgin saint meant anything? If she had to choose Tsubine or you, who would she pick? Don't bother we both know it would be Tsubine, she said those things because Tsubine came back and needed her little pet to play with to get back onto her feet with her boy toy dead, just to get her back on her feet for the next one."

The woman finally removed the sword and watched as Erika rolled over and tried to get to her feet, even with the two wounds. She was disgusted, stubborn and unyielding to her words.

"Stop twisting... my words... and if you... insult Midori again, I'll kill you! You hear me.. Don't insult her."

A moment to stand was all it took and then she tried to stab Juuchi Yosamu, as pointless as it was with all the pain and weakness her body felt. She merely side-stepped and gave the girl a slash along the back for her trouble to chuckle as Erika went face forward into the dirt.

"You're probably wondering when it will end, bet you think it's like all the other times right? You'll die and then wake up scared and sweaty, unfortunately I've gotten better, who knows if it will work for anyone else but my oh my is it good. Let me explain, you can't die. My release will keep you alive no matter how much damage I do. You'll be here for quite some time yet."

She went sick at the words as they came out, what kind of sick zanpakuto release made it impossible for their target to die. She had to ask if she was truly that sadistic? Is she really so twisted as to create this woman who is supposed to reflect her. No. Tsubine confirmed that Juuchi Yosamu and her were not spirit and master.

"You're... not my zanpakuto! Why won't you go away? Why won't you just die!"

"Zanpakuto? Oh. I forget he never told you did he. Just taught you the technique without telling you the consequences. That's what you get for trusting people. You stupid girl. Either way, stop straying... we're talking about you remember, and your stupid family. Tell me. If you will, what Tsubine has ever done to make you feel like her daughter? What's your name again?"

When Erika didn't answer another would would open up on her shoulder and pin her painfully to the ground.

"ERIKA!"

"Erika who?"

"Erika... Masamune."

Victory, she saw the look of pain on the girl's face when she saw what her spirit was going to attack next and it was to good for Juuchi Yosamu to not let it sit for a few minutes before continuing.

"Masamune... would her real daughter not have her own name? Hell. Would she not at least adopt you? See... you're so blind. You're only her daughter so long as she wants you to be. Nothing ties you together at all! Not genetics, not the law. Not even your names! You're a fucking idiot and even when I try to help you, I get tossed aside for the woman you keep calling your mother but has done nothing for you!"

"You... You're wrong. You don't even understand love, you cold.. heartless..."

She never finished when she broke down and started crying.

"On the contrary Erika. I understand love perfectly, I know what it feels like to love, and then have it thrown back at you while the one you love hurts you and tears you apart and they never tell you why, nor do they even care to hear your name. So shut up. Shut up and die, stopping you that day was a mistake. Why did I try to stop you, for a split second I thought... No, it doesn't matter. You chose her."

She earned a scream, even her own sadistic and cruel desires faltered for a moment as she shoved the blade into Erika's heart yet not releasing her from the pain or wound that should've brought death, the one that should've woke her up.

"Let me... go.. Let me wake up.. please."

"So what? So you can go to your precious Tsubine? So you can run in and cry to her and get comfort from her. You're not supposed to be a child. You shouldn't be this weak. Then there's also those lingering thoughts, yeah those ones about her that you have. Captain Virgin was right there, love changes someone... you didn't seem very happy about love did you? For a moment I thought you'd finally accept the reality but unfortunately you need a push. Tell you what though, tell me that Tsubine's not your mother and I'll release you. I'll let you go from this nightmare. You said it before to Midori! So say it again."

When the lingering silence stretched on and Juuchi Yosamu had no answer she looked up at the sun in the world, biting her lip in fury. Wondering why she wouldn't even say them for her own benefit, all she wanted to hear was her give up.

"I can't.. Call me weak, call me pathetic. Insult me all you want, but she's my mother. You won't change that fact. I don't need her silver hair... I don't need her name, I don't need..."

"You chase a fantasy. you chase something you wish to be true but simply cannot be so. You can't change causality and nothing will make this fantasy real, you're not her daughter. You're..."

"A burden. I'm a burden to her, but isn't in its essence what a child is?"

She felt the blade be removed from her chest as she laid in the dirt and felt it close to her. She was waiting for the next stab to come but it didn't, she wondered if she had passed out or maybe just blanked out from pain but when she woke up in her bed in a cold sweat she knew she was awake. Looking down at her shaking hands she sobbed and sat there unable to sleep. She still felt the phantom pain, it hurt in so many places and for a moment she felt like going to Tsubine or Midori, but she couldn't do it. That's exactly what Juuchi Yosamu said she'd do and at this point the girl realised she was right back at square one.

Why is this so complicated? Why am I so different and what did she say... he didn't tell me the consequences?