Re: A Regular Check-Up [ Closed]

Thu Dec 14, 2017 5:49 pm

A Regular Check-Up [ Closed] - Page 3 6EdIfMt

Midori Hayashi

Captain of the Second Division

"I'm an expert in the studies of psychology, anatomy, medicine, kaido, and a few other things, but that does not mean I am an expert on Shio Mora. If you'd like me to give my assessment from our interaction so far though..." Midori tilted her head slightly, looking directly at him even if he avoided her gaze, "You're a recluse who avoids meaningful interaction, which is likely because of the horrid things you've experienced with people like the man who urinated in your food.You keep yourself on grunt work, likely because it's the work most people avoid and will help you to continue to avoid people. You seem to be okay with discussing your home life, but I believe it is because little goes on in your home life, so there isn't much to reveal about you as a person. All in all, everything comes down to you being afraid. You're afraid of a lot, and I would like to figure out what it all is and aid you in pushing your life beyond it. You'd just have to allow me to by opening up and trusting me."

Thu Dec 28, 2017 4:56 pm

Shio turned towards the captain once more, his face waxen, nearly devoid of any bloodflow now. But there wasn't any fear to be seen there, as such; he didn't look like one who was about to die, or one whose heart was pounding in their chest. He looked, rather, like someone staring at an oncoming train and trying their best to come to terms with it. There was a dreadful resignation there, a bleak acceptance of...something. It was the look of someone who had licked their wounds after being beaten a great many times. Often enough that he no longer even had to stop and ask -why- he was being beaten.

"Little goes on in my life at all, captain Midori. Is that not what the Gotei wants? Dedicated troops, who will do whatever it takes to keep the cycle going. Sometimes that includes shoveling shit without a word of complaint. You go right ahead and tell me I'm wrong; tell me the Gotei needs another Zaraki Kenpachi, or another Kurotsuchi Mayuri. Tell me I should be breaking my bones and psyche to become some nightmarish...thing that the rest of the Gotei can't even speak of without trembling. I won't, no matter what you threaten me with. I just want...a peaceful life."

He turned back towards the wall, drumming his fingers against the hilt of his tanto, and letting his lips move silently, as if he were holding a conversation in his head, or working out the next things he wanted to say. Already some life was returning to his gaze and his facial features, but the easygoing smile was gone entirely, a needless tool that had been set aside for the time being. He simply sat in his chair, continuing to drum his fingers on his blade. When he did speak, it was barely above a whisper.

"The humans have a phrase. 'Just because you're paranoid doesn't meant they're not out to get you.' It just might be possible I have good things to be afraid of. So just tell me whether or not you're going to be taking me off active duty, Captain Midori, and tell me what you expect from me."

Sat Dec 30, 2017 9:06 am

Midori Hayashi

Captain of the Second Division

Again, his choice of words left Midori perplexed at the mentality of this man. So far, she saw no reason for him to be pulled from duty. He stayed to complete the appointment like she warned, which proved he wanted to keep his job to a degree. His wording about becoming a "monster" like Kenpachi Zaraki or Mayuri Kurotsuchi was the most fascinating. Many would think them great for being powerful and frightening forces to be reckoned with. Shio saw them as monsters, as things he did not want to become. She could see both sides of that argument. She understood his desire for a peaceful life above all, which gave her more insight as to why he thought chaotic Shinigami like Zaraki were monsters. They were anything but peaceful.

Shio spoke almost in a whisper, but she caught it clearly. This man had more of an aggressive personality than she expected. His submissive words almost contradicted his tone and the passive aggressive way he went about speaking. "What I expect of you is another appointment, Mr. Mora." Midori pulled a pad out of a drawer in her desk and began writing it down, "I will not be pulling you from active duty, but I am making you another appointment and recommending to your Captain to make sure you attend it. Whether you like it or not, these evaluations are mandatory. Acting like a pouting teenager who wants to get back to his own little world is only going to make it worse for you. You want me out of your life? You want me to leave you alone? Then honesty is the best way. Stop using your words to change the subject and stop trying to hide your feelings. The more you do, the more appointments I will make. The more appointments you avoid, the easier it will be to pull you from active duty. Understood?" She ripped the paper from the pad and held it out to him. Once he took it, she stood and walked to the door.

"Understand that I also have better things to do with my time. I have a life that I want to live and a job I have to do. This is part of it, the same way it's part of yours. Being a jackass is only going to make things harder on both of us." She opened up the door and motioned for him to leave, her expression hard, but showing little of what she felt, "Think about that for your next appointment, Shio Mora, and I might actually be able to sign you off."

Sat Dec 30, 2017 8:25 pm

"This is entirely pointless, on both ends. Honesty won't change anything, or achieve anything. There are things that should never be said, no matter the circumstances. I'll come to as many sessions as you like, but there are certain things I will just never discuss. I'm sorry, Captain Midori, but that isn't going to change no matter what you do."

The cold, dispassionate venom in Shio's voice now was so unlike the man who had originally walked into the room, it was hard to see any connection between him and the man he had been. What had once looked like smile lines now seemed to be pinched in an expression of deep contemplation, a neutral expression that brought to mind great anxiety, loathing, and frustration, all at once. It was the expression of a man who was trying a million different phrases in their head and dismissing them before they had even a chance to become thoughts. He stood in place, still unable to meet her gaze. Standing to attention, Shio could feel the familiar sensations, ravaging through his body.

Merely standing still was an effort of herculean will, it felt; he wanted to lash out, to smash something, to spit virtriolic words at the captain and storm out. He wanted to defend himself, he wanted to make the first blow, he wanted to do so many things and he couldn't even truly think any of them through to the conclusion, so he just...stood there, looking like someone who was trying their very hardest to conquer a maelstrom of emotions, who was fighting their screaming instincts with every fiber of their being.

"You can simply never understand, Captain Midori. There are things in this world that can never be expressed, only experienced. If you want to keep these conversations going, fine. But I already know how this all will end. And I have no interest in trying my luck this time around."

He walked towards the door, opened it, and then ducked underneath, speaking without ever turning around.

"Have a good one, Captain~."

The words were spoken so carelessly, and with such immediacy, they only could've come from some deeply-ingrained routine, something he had trained for and committed to heart long ago. It sounded almost like he was singing, even as he gingerly shut the door behind him, beginning to walk back towards his barracks.