Bleach Platinum Hearts RP
Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.

Go down
ddangerous.mann
ddangerous.mann
Starter Member
Joined : 2017-11-12
Posts : 2

Calisto Cardona Empty Calisto Cardona

Tue Nov 14, 2017 7:15 pm
Calisto Cardona
カリストカルドナ

I. Basic Information
» Name: Calisto Cardona
» Age: 416
» Gender: Male
» Association: De Facto Espada under Tier Harribel (Formerly), Stealth Force (Formerly), Sui Feng (Former Mentor), Mayuri Kurosutchi (Creator)
» Appearance Written: Long wavy blonde hair, down to shoulders. Structured face and piercing gray eyes. His full bottom jaw is hollow. His body is slim/toned. He normally has a solemn expression.
» Appearance Image:
Calisto Cardona Calist13
Calisto Cardona Calist12
Somewhere between these two. Hair length of the first, texture of the second. Body type of the second as well. Face is closer to the second.

II. Personality
» Personality: Calisto is a mostly solemn individual. His emotions tend to be numb so that he can be an efficient killer. The way he fights is stealthy and tricky. If he were a Shinigami, he would surely be part of the Onmistukido. He develops a lot of his own poisons, and as such, he is a formidable alchemist and spends a lot of time developing even stronger concoctions. In battle, his aim is to finish someone off without a fight. Poison them before they know you’re there, and finish them while they’re weak.

III. History
» History:
Mayuri Kurosutchi. That was the first thought Calisto Cardona had ever had. During secret experiments, he was created. An artificial lifeform, supposed to be incapable of emotion. And for the most part he was. He was nothing, he was disposable, a mere homunculus, born in a vat. His body subjected to hundreds of poisons until nothing inside him could feel. Not his heart, not his mind, not his lungs. He was a broken being, filled with nothing but venom.
He finally escaped. Fleeing to the Rukon district. It wasn’t long before his presence was considered dangerous, and the Captain of the Onmitsukido, Sui Feng was commissioned to eliminate the threat. The fight was short-lived, Calisto being a weak child at the time. But the Captain had mercy on him, and hid him until he was older. Eventually, he joined the Onmitsukido, wearing a facemask to hide his hollow mask. When his ressurecion was first released, his identity was revealed and he was subsequently banished from the Soul Society. Until now, he’s made his rounds in Hueco Mundo, serving as a defacto Espada under Tier Harribel, and carrying out assassinations.

IV. Equipment
» Equipment: A bead necklace. It can break into separate pieces, each containing a gaseous toxin that can harm people if broken.

V. Racial Techniques/Abilities/Skills
» Racial Abilities: [You can put any customized racial skills/abilities/techniques in here. These can range from cero/bala, hierro and anything else you want to add. Feel free to skip it]

VI. Sealed Powers
» Zanpakutô Name: Belladona
» Zanpakutô Appearance: A short zanpakuto. The blade is pitch black including the sharp side. The hand is wrapped with dark purple cloth, that hangs about three feet off of it. (Like Rukia’s except shorter.)
» Unique Power: Calisto presides over poison. Any and all types. With this, he is immune to all poisons, and can create all poisons. His zanpakuto, Belladona, poisons any it cuts. In regular form, it inflicts regular debilitating symptoms, such as fatigue, dizziness, etc. and isn’t quickly lethal. He has a different poison under every fingernail, so a simple cut from his fingers can kill someone if they are weak or left untreated.

VII. Resurrección
» Resereccion Name: Atroz
» Resereccion Release Phrase: Envenenar su sangre, Belladona.
» Release Actions: Like Senbonzakura Kageyoshi, he drops his blade and it vanishes into the ground into a cloud of noxious gas that envelopes Calisto to perform his ressureccion.
» Resereccion Appearance: Calisto’s hair extends down to his feet, purple instead of blonde. Coiling and flowing like tentacles. Bandage wraps his entire body from his neck down. Giant needles stick out from his body in different areas, his torso, legs, arms, and neck. With a gesture he can wield these. His hollow mask transforms into a mouthpiece type gas mask.
» Resereccion Abilities: Calisto’s hair can shift between gaseous and solid at will. When in gas form he can use it to attack, prolonged exposure to this gas can rot flesh and stops the victims will to breath. It’s so toxic that it would even kill him if he didn’t have his mask. In this form his speed, Sonido, Hakuda, and Hohou are dramatically increased. His mask can fire cero. He can eject any needle from his body at will, each containing an extremely lethal poison.

VIII. Skill Sheet
To Find Out about what these skills are for, please READ THIS THREAD before you try doing anything to it. After you have read it, do not feel your skills out until a staff member has graded your thread. We will also do your will sheet for you upon grading your application.

Will Skills
Willpower: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
Mental Deduction: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
Pain Endurance: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
Focus: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner

General Skills
Durability: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
General Speed: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
Strength: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
Weapon Skill: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner

Racial Skills
Perquisa: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
Sonido: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
Cero/Bala: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner
Hierro: Master/Advanced/Adept/Beginner

IX. Role Play Sample
Calisto was cornered. The rest of his stealth team was beaten or dead, and he was the last thing standing between this hollow, and the innocents of the Rukon district. His left arm was limp at his side, the tendon severed from the teeth of the massive Shrieker. He readied himself with his zanpakuto, holding it out in front of him to defend himself. The hollow closed the distance between them in an instant, biting onto his blade. He struggled against it, pushing back with all of his might. Smoke spewed out of the hollows mouth as his zanpakuto melted away at its face. The Shrieker cried out before assaulting him with its fist. The impact sent Calisto skidding across the dirt. Was this where he died? No, he thought, it isn’t. He stood up, staggering for a moment before catching his balance. “Resurreccion! Envenenar su sangre, Belladona!” He dropped his sword. The last thing he felt was the relieving sting of poison taking over his body before he blacked out.
Henrex
Henrex
Tor'uk
Joined : 2016-01-20
Posts : 5126
Age : 24

Member Info
Platinum Points:
Calisto Cardona Left_bar_bleue419100/999999Calisto Cardona Empty_bar_bleue  (419100/999999)
Tiers:

Calisto Cardona Empty Re: Calisto Cardona

Wed Nov 15, 2017 10:50 am

«- PREPARE TO BE REVIEWED -»


« Application Checklist »
  • Name [X]
  • Appropriate Age [X]
  • Gender [X]
  • Appearance Present [X]
  • Appearance Described in Appropriate Length OR Picture is Visible [X]
  • Appearance is Not Claimed [O]
  • 10 sentences for personality [O]
  • History is of appropriate length [O]
  • Powers are not Godmod/Overpowered[O]
  • Powers are described reasonably enough [O]
  • Application/RP Sample is not in First Person [X]
  • Skills are not filled in (Omit if a Hollow)[X]
  • RP Sample Present (Omit if this is not the first character) [X]
  • RP Sample is 10 sentences [X]


« The Willsheet Checklist »

• And Comments/Fixes •


  • Willpower/Determination: N/A
  • Mental Deduction: N/A
  • Pain Endurance: N/A
  • Focus: N/A


  • Comments/Notes: We've...got a lot to fix before this is approvable.

    Face-Claim

    Firstly, that face-claim, Kogitsunemaru, is currently claimed. You're either going to have to ask Crow for a share or change his appearance.

    Personality

    This is not long enough to be acceptable. You currently have seven out of ten sentences required for a character to be approved.

    History

    There are several issues with this. Firstly, it's not long enough. History must be at least three to five paragraphs in order to be accepted. Secondly, you are not allowed to use canon characters in your character's history without staff permission, or the owner's. Tier Harribel and Sui-Feng are owned by Darkfunnel and Teitoku. Furthermore, none of this makes sense. Sui-Feng would not have taken mercy on him, and would not have hidden him. She would have just killed him outright. Furthermore, there is no way that an Arrancar would be able to join the Onmitsukido without being detected. Additionally, Henrex, my character, is one of the heads of the Stealth Force AND the Onmitsukido. There is no way he would have gotten past him. This entire history needs to be reworked.

    Zanpakuto & Resurreccion

    This small part is in regards to the appearance/release actions of these two where you reference that it's "like Rukia" and "Like Senbonzakura Kageyoshi". I'll quote what Andy, a former staff member, had said to me about this when I first started:

    Imakuran wrote:For this and any descriptions you do for anything in your entire roleplaying career, do not describe something with "It's like that" without actually describing it. That is usually seen as a cop out and it is not developing your skills as a writer at all. Your job is to paint us a picture with your words, your job is not to take another person's picture and say "it's like that." It's lazy and very disappointing.

    Now, onto the powers. Firstly, I'm going to quote the Rules about poison powers before I go into any more detail:

    [THEFROST] wrote:Poison Powers: We are officially allowing poison based powers but under a strict eye of whoever is viewing the application. Do not make poisons that automatically kill someone, make sure you try to add as much detail as possible when crafting them and don't bullshit your way around this when making a poison based power, character or equipment.

    That being said, this is not worded well enough, or have the proper drawbacks/limits that something like this needs, especially if this is going to be used by a new member and the level of power that this character will be at on approval. This is applying to both the Sealed Zanpakuto, as well as Resurreccion. Overall, this needs a lot more explanation as to what this all can do, how long this stuff lasts, cooldowns, etc.

  • Tier: TBA
Tsubine
Tsubine
Ye Olde Guarde
Joined : 2010-07-09
Posts : 3940
Age : 30
Location : Gracemeria

Member Info
Platinum Points:
Calisto Cardona Left_bar_bleue7380/100Calisto Cardona Empty_bar_bleue  (7380/100)
Tiers:

Calisto Cardona Empty Re: Calisto Cardona

Sun Dec 10, 2017 11:23 pm
[mod]As this has not been edited within a month, this is being moved to Pending.[/mod]


Tsubine's Character List
THEFROST
THEFROST
Head Admin
Head Admin
OTY

Joined : 2010-06-03
Posts : 19582
Age : 31
Location : Purgatory

Member Info
Platinum Points:
Calisto Cardona Left_bar_bleue99999/99999Calisto Cardona Empty_bar_bleue  (99999/99999)
Tiers:
https://www.platinumhearts.net

Calisto Cardona Empty Re: Calisto Cardona

Sun Jan 07, 2018 7:32 am
[adm]Archiving this since the person hasn't said anything in over a month.[/adm]


Calisto Cardona WVMWLOu
Sponsored content

Calisto Cardona Empty Re: Calisto Cardona

Back to top
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum