Re: Akasha Yuudeshi {APPROVED NPC; 2-5}
Tue Dec 15, 2015 1:32 pm
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- Willpower/Determination: N/A
- Mental Deduction: N/A
- Pain Endurance: N/A
- Focus: N/A
- Comments/Notes: Unique Abilities: Powerful Assassin Strength:The strength of a demon assassin; this also the darkness power of the demon hunter. Akasha's physical strength is really shocking and superiorly fierce of such an unbelievable great level that even her actions cause great destruction and deadlier damage. Very strong & powerful attacks might hurt her but they wouldn't have power of defeating him, Akasha can actually block attacks depending on their strength. She's able to overpower an person's bankai and other powerful & stronger attacks with his one punch/hand slap yet it hurts when does but thanks to her ultimate strength.
That's all well and great, but I'd remove the bit about being able to overpower a person's bankai before this is given a tier and strength skill.
The same thing can be said for most of the feats you mentioned below:
Perfected Assassin Speed/Reflexes: Unlike her master/mistress, She's speed and reflexes have been greatly augmented to the point where the demon assassin can move faster. Yet her agility and reflexes to dodge oncoming attacks that have do her harm. Akasha is shown to used her quick speeds along with her reflexes to gain the upper hand on a enemy or find ways to outsmart their combat strategy. Aneka has become fast enough to outrun his own energy attacks, allowing her to strike and enhance them or launch simultaneous attacks. Akasha can keep up with a shinigami's shunpo speed, iramasha's speed or arrancar's sonido speed yet the mad one gets a quadruple increase in speed within this state. She can actually match a captain's shunpo or espada's sonido speed, vizard's speed or ziamichi's speed depending on the enemy's speed.
Do not state you are faster than a Captain if you havent' even gotten this character a tier yet. I'd also reduce the 4x boost to x2.
Strong Hand to Hand Combatant: Though she was well trained. Akasha was trained to be a strong hand to hand fighter by her deveta master & Asthavon family members.
Didn't approve that. Please remove it the quoted lines. You can keep the rest.
Knife Weapon Creation: Akasha actually had to sacrifice 20,000,000 weapons in order to make one powerful weapon. With one hand of her wave of her hand the demon can create a knife weapon. The blade won't rust because of 2,000 souls used to create it. The cast metal dragon accent is expertly placed at the throat of the shaft and is the heart of the dark allure of this knife. The weapon itself had it own zoa koa which fire energy attacks with same strength as cero or grand rey cero. The weapon signature attack is called Final Killer which eight balls of magic form circle around producing condensed energy from each ball. The ball combined at the tip of blade unleashing and shadow energy beam which can hurt or damage an opponent. Yet the weapon can be destroyed from too many fucking strong attacks.
Uh.......I'd reduce the 20,000,000 down to about 2,000 or so. That just seems silly.
Blood Energy Manipulation: Akasha has been given red energy powers which she can enhance even augment attacks with red energy giving much more powerful & deadly effect. Initially this was uncontrollable, but after enhancing it by some training. She can mostly control this great raw energy power creating powerful attacks and powerful defenses from controlling the red energy. The mad demon can also teleport with this red power creating an energy portal and leave into another dimension/place when creating the portal. Trinity can create red energy wings for herself giving her the ability to fly but her red wings can be damaged quite easily from other energy and elemental attacks. This can be also used some healing magics which can be combined with other power for much of an greater healing effect that can heal faster then regular healing powers. When using the red energy power, Akasha can fire red energy weapons, half or 100% full power red energy blasts/energy beams firing at twice of normal speed of an demon technique. For defenses, She can create an energy shield or an energy blockade barrier from her power. Also She has controlled crimson energy attacks can be defeated or counter by a stronger defense or strong energy barrier depending on the strength and defensive power of that enemy. However, Akasha's defensive powers can be weaken if her controlled crimson energy defenses are damaged by other stronger elemental attacks.
As far as the teleporation goes: THAT WILL ONLY BE USED FOR TRANSPORTATION OUTSIDE OF COMBAT! Just so we are clear on that.
Kongou Kokuretsuzan(Land Killer Slash): The ultimate technique of flames which was known to be offensive and defensive at the time. A user will raise one hand in the air summoning vast amounts of magic into that palm with the power of wrath and vengeance flowing within. The user's whole body will be imbued with pyro energy making him strong and vicious. With all that deadly power in one hand, User slams it violently on the ground unleashing a massive earthquake energy explosion. How it works when the user slams that powerful gathered energy into ground or enemy and unleashes a explosion of energy. The explosion of pure energy power emanates into unleashed an massive earthquake that can perhaps or cause a city to tear itself apart..
How big is the earthquake and energy explosions range? A few hundred meters? And, if it has the potential to destroy a city, I would want to see more of a drawback and make it more tiring to use. Otherwise, reduce it's size by half.
Demonic Overlord Speed/Reflexes: Akasha's speed and reflexes have been greatly augmented to the point where the demon chaos warrior can move faster. Yet her agility and reflexes to dodge oncoming attacks that have do her harm. Akasha is shown to used her quick speeds along with her reflexes to gain the upper hand on a enemy or find ways to outsmart their combat strategy. Akasha has become fast enough to outrun her own energy attacks, allowing him to strike and enhance them or launch simultaneous attacks. Akasha can keep up with a shinigami's shunpo speed, iramasha's speed or arrancar's sonido speed yet the mad one gets a quadruple increase in speed within this state. She can actually match a captain's shunpo or espada's sonido speed, vizard's speed or ziamichi's speed depending on the enemy's speed.
You are just repeating what you did earlier. So I will to.
Do not state you are faster than a Captain if you havent' even gotten this character a tier yet. I'd also reduce the 4x boost to x2.
Immense Demon Striking Power: Because of demonic armor, Akasha's striking power is increased twenty times any normal demonic strike. Because of the metal rings & demonic claws kinda lock the demon fingers which improve her fists allowing his enemies to feel her punches effectively. Also each punch is imbued with the flame magic which increase the power with some deadly pain.
Lower that to ten times.
That's all I'm going to review before we go further. There is still more for you to fix, but I'm not going to overload myself or you until we fix the stuff above.
I'll also be holding your claim for your FC, so don't worry about that. - Tier: N/A
Re: Akasha Yuudeshi {APPROVED NPC; 2-5}
Sun Dec 27, 2015 9:02 am
- Phantom Tech Abilities: Devilot Reishi Bio-System: A second bloodstream and second heart which is a Devilot Ion cybernetic one that were implanted within her body allow her to absorb reishi almost like a quincy. The cybernetic heart activates the small generator works like a vacuum absorb small particles of reishi. The reishi is absorbed into her body allowing to use for certain attacks and different abilities. There is no the different kinds of attack powers which Akasha can create from this power because the cybernetic demon heart works almost like a regular heart but it had Devilot Ion Moto.
Reishi Manipulation: From her nanobots, Akasha's cybernetic system was able to drawn in a certain form of reishi manipulation to aid her powers in battle. When her spiritual energy is drained, Akasha's nanobots enter the girl's bloodstream absorbing reishi from the atmosphere like a normal strong quincy but and much faster pace. Akasha has a very quick time collecting reishi from different places like the Iramasha Base, Soul Society, Las Noches and Hueco Mundo. Through her battles, Akasha had been known to reishi power for offensive & defensive abilities.
What are the certain attacks and different abilities she can use? And what do you mean by "there is no different kinds of attack powers which Akasha can create from this power"? I don't quite understand the wording there. Can she infinitely just absorb energy? If so, I'd ask for some kind of limit or drawback.
Mind Control: The ultimate mind firewall; Which Akasha can block mental and mind powers like telepathy, mind control and telekinesis.
You are going to need way more detail in order to add that. How does it work? How durable is it? etc
Curses: The true good luck charm will helps the demon block any form of curses coming it her way it starts off when the curse takes effect. Akasha's eyes turn red Anti-Curse system which negates the curse on impact due to her power the mad demon can use the whenever she wants to.
I'd say he'd have a high resistance against curses, rather then negation. And how exactly does this work? You should go into way more detail about how this system works.
Kidō[Hadō/Bakudo]: Depending on her strength is the same strength of nano-bites that can kill Kidō instantly that comes into contact with her body. When it Hadō Kidō the nano-bites acts like a barrier when protects from offensive Kidō. Bakudo Kidō wont be able to touch him depending on the strength of bakudo Kidō.
I wouldn't say that it instantly kills as opposed to having a high form of defense that can weaken kido attacks upon contact.
Fix these and then we can move on. Sorry for the delay. I got caught up in the holidays.
Re: Akasha Yuudeshi {APPROVED NPC; 2-5}
Sun Dec 27, 2015 2:15 pm
- Phantom Tech Abilities: Devilot Reishi Bio-System: A second bloodstream and second heart which is a Devilot Ion cybernetic one that were implanted within her body allow her to absorb reishi almost like a quincy. The cybernetic heart activates the small generator works like a vacuum absorb small particles of reishi. The reishi is absorbed into her body allowing to use for quincy abilities and phantom-tech abilities. However, There is a limit to how many abilities the mad demon can use yet her limit is about 2 quincy abilities and 3 phantom abilities. It will take her about 5 posts to reselect different abilities. Because the cybernetic demon heart works almost like a regular heart but it had Devilot Ion Moto.
Reishi Manipulation: From her nanobots, Akasha's cybernetic system was able to drawn in a certain form of reishi manipulation to aid her powers in battle. Akasha's nanobots enter the girl's bloodstream absorbing reishi from the atmosphere like a normal strong quincy. Reishi Manipulation absorbing which the mad demon can absorb it instantly but their is a cooldown period. The Reishi system can malfunction so she can enough reishi for attacks and defense power. The reishi system will reset itself going into a cooldown mode for about 4 posts. After that it restart itself, Akasha has a very quick time collecting reishi from different places like the Iramasha Base, Soul Society, Las Noches and Hueco Mundo. Through her battles, Akasha had been known to reishi power for offensive & defensive abilities.
I'm going to nope the whole Quincy ability thing. That is, she is a demon and I'm not allowing her to use Quincy abilities. You can keep the stuff about her having absorbing ability that mimic Quincy, but I'm not allowing her to use racial abilities.
Since, from what I read, this character seemed as if she were a demon. So I'd remove the Phantom Tech Powers, or make them to where they mimic Quincy abilities.
Re: Akasha Yuudeshi {APPROVED NPC; 2-5}
Thu Dec 31, 2015 7:31 am
«-PREPARE TO BE REVIEWED-»
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- Name [X]
- Appropriate Age [X]
- Gender [X]
- Appearance Present [X]
- Appearance Described in Appropriate Length OR Picture is Visible [X]
- Appearance is Not Claimed [X]
- 10 sentences for personality [X]
- History is of appropriate length [X]
- Powers are not Godmod/Overpowered [X]
- Powers are described reasonably enough [X]
- Application/RP Sample is not in First Person [X]
- Skills are not filled in (Omit if a Hollow)[X]
- RP Sample Present (Omit if this is not the first character) [X]
- RP Sample is 10 sentences [X]
« The Willsheet Checklist »
• And Comments/Fixes •
- Willpower/Determination: N/A
- Mental Deduction: N/A
- Pain Endurance: N/A
- Focus: N/A
- Comments/Notes: This is strictly to be used as an NPC. And that's why I'm tossing out the tier like this.
- Tier: 2-5
- HenrexTor'uk
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Re: Akasha Yuudeshi {APPROVED NPC; 2-5}
Fri Apr 14, 2017 9:56 pm
[adm]Moving to archives due to member being banned.[/adm]
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